I just want you to be happy and be a good citizen.

I remember the day my dad talked to me about what it meant to be a real adult. It was not long after I'd taken a stand at my school opposing censorship.

To make a long story short, our school held a service club competition every year which involved skits. My club's skit "went over the line" with the faculty censorship committee, because one of our characters behaved in a "gay" manner. The committee said that we'd have to remove this character and all references to his behavior when we performed for the competition. We tried to argue with the committee, explaining that the most popular tv show of the time ("Three's Company") went well beyond the trivial gestures and exaggerations of our character, but they disagreed.

As President of my service club, I met with the President of the boy's service club we worked with for the skit, and we talked about our options. When we met with our members we took a vote on two choices: alter the play or perform it as is. The clubs voted 100% in favor of performing it as it had been originally written.

On performance night, the skits were awarded points by judges in the audience. These judges were not aware of the faculty censorship committee's demands. Points were announced and clearly indicated our skit was the winner. The Vice Principal took the stage announcing there were "issues with the judging" and a conference of judges and school officials met behind closed curtains for 10 minutes before trophies were awarded. The result of this meeting was that our club had points removed for violating the ruling of the censorship committee. We were given last place in the competition. When club members met after the results we were not unhappy. We knew we had won, regardless of who took the trophy home. What we didn't know was the reach of the long arms of the committee.

My parents and I were called into the Vice Principal's office. We were all sternly talked to about my behavior. I was given time to explain my position for leading my club to violate the censorship rules. Mr Dawkin's listened. Then my parents told him that I had their support. His response was tough, though really only words. A letter would be placed in my permanent file telling the story from his point of view. I would be given the chance to reply in my own letter, which would also be place in my file. Mr Dawkin's seemed caught between a rock and a hard place. I felt his wrath but didn't really think he agreed with the path he had to take, but he had to take it.

So Dad and I, a week or so later, talked about what it meant to be an adult and a citizen. He told me that he thought I already knew the important things. I had already participated in an election, as a campaign volunteer. I had fought against censorship. But he told me he also hoped that in life I could find happiness. With work, with people and with my government. At the time I didn't really see the depth of what he meant.

Looking back I realize that personal happiness is just one part of a good life. He was right. If you aren't able to find happiness across the full spectrum of your life, you aren't doing your country or the world any good by being here. It's taken me over 30 years to "get" that. Thanks Dad!

Now, as a parent, I have the opportunity to create a few more good AND HAPPY citizens. They participated in their first election, as volunteers for two candidates who won. I explained that this will not always happen, but we bask in the joy of the present. They know that sometimes they will work hard and the person who appears to be the best candidate will not win, but the process must survive. They know they must be part of the process.

This year the oldest has Civics, and an outstanding teacher. Last night she drafted her first letter the the editor of the local paper. I was asked to proofread. Immensely proud of my daughter for taking a stand on the issue of campaign finance reform, I have to remember to have the "BE HAPPY" conversation with her. Because it still really matters.

Poor, poor Haiti

I was feeling sorry for our country until the 7.3 earthquake hit Haiti earlier this week. It's a sad reminder that no matter how bad things are, there is always someone worse off than you. Unless you live in Haiti, where for entire lifetimes - in our hemisphere at least - there is no one worse off than you. And now, as bad as it was (and it had been improving), it is much worse.

My husband spent part of his childhood in Haiti, as the son of a US AID worker with the US State Department. He remembers a poor country with a vibrant heart. The sounds of drums lulled him to sleep at night. The beaches were the most beautiful of his memories. The mountains held the promise of mystery.

As an adult my husband often meets Haitians who are always surprised to hear him sing the Hatian National Anthem. Haitians are always happy, graceful, spirited and, above all, KIND people.

So today I put away my whining about our economy, our political wrangling over health care options, my concern for where I will spend my next vacation, and I think of Haiti. It's lovely country, now covered in ruin. It's joyous people, now desperate in need. I direct my attention away from the tv and focus on matching gift programs that will generate double what we are able to contribute to help Haitians recover from this catastrophic event. I hold in my heart the story of the "windy goats" and the warmth of the sun on a glorious beach, and the sound of a strong voice singing a happy song.

Going in Circles with AdSense

I set up an AdSense account over a year ago. I didn't pay a lot of attention to it, didn't earn much money from it, and generally forgot about it. Then I got rid of the email address I set it up with.

Recently I got a post card from Google AdSense, giving me my new pin number. Then I tried to login to my AdSense account, but had forgotten my password. So, I thought: no problem, I'll reset the password. Except of course the email address doesn't work anymore.

Several months ago I did set up a gmail account, and I have other email accounts; just not the one I used initially with AdSense. But how do I tell the good folks at AdSense this... The "decision path" mapped out for me by AdSense to resolve this involves applying for a new AdSense account, which they say will be denied because I can't have TWO accounts. They say the "denial" will include a link that allows me to STOP the old account and transfer any balance over $10 to my new account. But I think I had a balance of almost (but not quite) $10 on the account... so I'll lose that. It took me nearly 17 months to reach that amount and I hate to lose it, but it seems the only way forward.

This earning big bucks through blogging is way harder than it seems. 17 months of blogging to get $9.72 worth of "money", in a system that doesn't send you a check until you hit $100. Only 14 years to go until I see a check from Google AdSense. :) I sure hope they send me my denial soon so I can get started again.

Old Soccer Cleats

We're talking about worn out soccer shoes here, and my daughter says "I won't go to the store to get new ones unless I can keep my old ones". I'm ready to throw the old cleats out. I mean, they smell, they're ripped up and they can't be used to play in a game unless you tape them up severely...

Being an attachment sort of soul, I cling to people. Pets. Nature. Memories (while I can anyway). I don't cling to lawnmowers. Or trophies. Or old shoes. But I live with people who grow attached to "things".

My husband and my children are extreme clingers. And that is a good thing in many ways. I know they'll always be around. But it's the odd things they cling to that make me nuts.

Today I took my big kid to the soccer store for new cleats, which amazingly enough don't require duct tape to hold them together. And that's a good thing because we can't afford duct tape now that we've bought the new cleats. In my world: old cleats OUT and new cleats IN. SO not going to happen in their world.

Someday, someone will come clean this house out. Please tell them I was forced to live with stinky old cleats.

Green Bag Backache

So I've got a bunch of those nice "green" bags for hauling my groceries home. You know the bags I'm talking about; the ones you pay a buck or two for and then you never need answer the "plastic or paper" question again.

I have two old bags, from a previous life in another state; they're plain old canvas with the store name on the side. I have two new bags from my current grocery store; made out of whatever that lightweight fabic is that seems less permanent than canvas but "looks" like canvas...

But you have to actually USE the bags to fulfill the "green" mantra. So, you have to have them with you every time you grocery shop. And that's the first challenge. We're a two car family, but since I do most of the grocery shopping I keep the bags in my car. And then when I get the urge to use the other car, and stop by the store... I'm back to "plastic or paper". I had the same problem with the store "value card", until they put our phone number on the account. You see I keep the card on my keyring, but my husband doesn't want extra weight (I know .02 ounces is too much!) to carry around. But that's a whole 'nother story.


The second challenge is the weight. The only "con" I've found to the whole "green bag" thing is that baggers tend to want to fill them up. They get that you're trying to not use plastic or paper and their goal is to get it all in those four green bags. Which is fine except for two things: 1) the bags are bigger than the average plastic or paper bag and 2) when they're full they're HEAVY.

If you buy a few coupons worth of tomato soup, for instance, and the bagger puts them all in one bag and then layers the juice boxes and potatoes on top, your bag will hold you in place through a Category 5 hurricane.

So, you need about twice as many green bags as paper or plastic, just to spread the weight around, OR you need a couple sons who lift weights to accompany you to the grocery store. But if you had a couple of those sons you'd probably need more food and then you'd need more bags and then you'd need more sons. I better stop while I'm ahead!

Out of the Pond and onto the Couch

Tonight I am thankful for digital video recorders. We bought a new tv during the holidays and decided to bump up our cable service instead of buying a DVD player/recorder. So when I'm not cleaning the pond or roaming the countryside picking up and dropping off daughters, you might find me on the couch.

It is amazing how one little device can make everyone in the house happy. Other than the lights and the air conditioning, or the fridge and the toilet... I'm hard pressed to think of anything else we all use on a daily basis. And use it we do. There is along list of what we record: Friends, Soccer, NCIS, Bones, Bakugan, Pokemon, Soccer, FSU football, and did I say soccer? The only problem we have is figuring out how we can all watch all we record.

It's still a clean pond!

Today I planted (and I use the term loosely) a water lily in my pond. I will say the contrast between the beauty of a lily's bloom and the muck the roots live in, is well, huge. And muck is gilding the lily, no pun intended.

I had to clean out the pond before I could plant though. The water hyacinths and water lettuce have multiplied many times over the last month. I tried giving babies away, but I'm running out of neighbors with ponds. So, I had to sacrifice some. There was simply no surface area for the lily pads. And it was getting hard to see the fish too. And fish, after all, is what the pond is all about.

So, tonight, the fish can see the moon and I can see the fish. And all is right with the world.